He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
