just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
