i think i have two assholes
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
