Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
