I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
