what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
