Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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