what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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