You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
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