I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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