She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
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