We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize