I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
