No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
