I'm lost and stupid without you.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
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