Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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