I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
You need a sexual gate keeper
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
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