Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I will die if light touches me.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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