butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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