You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
