the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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