i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
he had hair everywhere except his balls
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
