just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
