my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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