I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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