he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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