3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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