Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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