Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
