i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
