Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
