i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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