You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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