the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
