wake up i wanna do it froggy style
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
