then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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