so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
