last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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