True but thats because hes a fetus.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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