Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Randomize
