So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
