this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
