You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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