so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
