i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Randomize
