How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
