i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
