WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
