Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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