i just wanna soil my oats bro
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
